Love, Joy & Chaos

'Tis the season to be chaotic.

I haven't even started Christmas cards or neighbor gifts or Christmas shopping. Usually I have all that holiday jazz checked off my list at the beginning of December.

But with Blake's birthday smack dab in between Thanksgiving and Christmas (why did we think that having a baby around that time would be a good idea?), family in and and out of town, and Christmas parties galore, I've been flying by the seat of my pants to get from day to day. That is not a feeling I'm accustomed to.

Troy even came home from work early one day this week (we've all been passing around this stomach flu/cold) and stated in disbelief, "I don't think I've ever seen the house like this!"

I'll admit, amongst birthday celebrations and meetings for church responsibilities and work dinners and preschool group and doctors appointments, the mail, toys, dishes, and birthday remnants were strewn across the house.

And the very next day I was asked to host an elegant soup course for a progressive dinner with all of the ladies from church.

Oh man.

If you could have seen our house on the day of the party at 7am compared to 6pm, you would have been amazed at the transformation. Complete with all the typical "stuff" in between; groceries, flu shots, and appointment scheduling, yes, even I was amazed that it all came together. That doesn't mean that I wasn't was mopping like a mad woman ten minutes before the first group of ladies arrived.

In all of the rush I only remembered to capture the tablescape (look familiar to Thanksgiving?). There have been a lot of those lately. Event hosting always seems to come in spurts for me.

We ate, we laughed, we enjoyed each other's diverse company, and we shared Christmas memories prompted by discussion questions on the insides of the placecards.

It was a joyful event. I was happy to host. But man oh man, I was really glad to get it over with.

Now that I have the bonus of a clean house (at least for a day or two), I feel like I can finally focus on Christmas. I am ready to kick into intense work mode. 

But I'm beginning to realize that life will still march on relentlessly even if I'm flying by the seat of my pants, and I'll miss the richness of the moments that abound around me if I don't slow down. Yes, there is a lot to be done. But soon, our dear little children will be big children and the magic of Christmas will lessen for them. I hope I can remember to make some pauses and remember what's most important this season.

Blake's Balloon Party

Blake's third birthday was a celebration of all things balloon related.

Blake thought he had died and gone to heaven when his big day finally arrived after months of anticipation. All day long he kept saying, "My birthday party is to-DAY??"

We had family over for dinner to start off the festivities. 

Then we played a rockin' balloon game. The balloon pinata was my favorite part of the party. You know that carnival game where you throw darts at balloons? I created something similar, filling the balloons with candy and attaching them to a wooden board. I covered the board with a plastic tablecloth so a splinter wouldn't accidentally pop the balloons.

There were sharp darts involved so it wouldn't have been the best game for a group of three year olds, but since Blake's guest list consisted of only adults, I wanted to make it fun for them too. And it was a serious hit.

Blake didn't show any interest in throwing the darts, he was simply delighted to scoop up all of the candy. He showed the same level of enthusiasm for each successful popping; immediately jumping up and shouting, "You got it!" It was as if each pop was the very first time it happened. Blake's reactions were hilarious.

If you don't believe his level of excitement, just watch this.

Moving on to presents.

Nash liked the presents as well. Or the bows should I say.

He's such a lucky boy.

Blake is sure loved by so many people. We are so grateful for the grandparents and uncles that came to to his party and brought him presents. This was the first time that my parents were able to celebrate Blake's birthday with him. Since they were already here for Thanksgiving, they decided to stay for the party day.

Every birthday gets better and better as Blake gets older. I love how his eyes gleamed and his smile stretched from ear to ear while we sang Happy Birthday to him.

My big three year old even blew out his own candles.

Happy Birthday Blake. We love you!

Cakes

Blake's birthday preparations have begun. And this year I pulled out my inner Martha to bake my first ever birthday cake. You see, I usually go the cupcake route, and admittedly that usually includes the purchase of cupcakes since frosting is often a disaster for me. I remember going to a cake decorating activity once with my mom thinking that I would never develop skills in the cake department based on the catastrophe I concocted. So a double layer cake (made from scratch), homemade buttercream frosting, and fondant (not from a mix) was kind of a big deal for me. 

And to my amazement, it actually turned out! But I didn't do it alone. My awesome friend Steph was there for me through and through as we learned about the fondant making process together.

Let me back up a little bit and describe how lucky I am to have a friend like her. First of all, she happens to live a few streets over from me. I love having good neighbors nearby that I can swing by and borrow things from or take walks to the library with. Second, she has the cutest family ever including twin girls, Jenna and Lucy, that are three months older than Nash.

Our children happen to love each other too.

Blake adores the girls and has developed slight crushes on them. He points them out every Sunday in church and loves to play with them even though they actually are much closer in age to Nashy. The look-alike factor puts him in awe him every time. 

Steph and her husband Adam moved into our neighborhood a year and a half ago, but it took us a good year to get to know them. They were that family that we always meant to invite over but the weeks went by, then their twins were born, and when they were back in the swing of things, then our baby was born, yada yada yada.

The stars finally aligned and Steph and I were paired together to visit some ladies from church. I remember one of our first conversations where we learned of our mutual affection for blogging and all things creative and we were both gleaming with excitement. We took a photography class together one night during the summer and love to share shooting and editing tips since we are both learning about our cameras. We were eventually split up from doing visits together (sadly), but then she was called to teach in Young Women's with me! And then recently I was released to serve in Primary. It's funny how they keep putting us together and then breaking us up. 

So it's kind of a bummer that it took us so long to figure out that Steph and I are made out of the same mold. But I am so glad it didn't take longer for us to finally start hooking up for dinners and play dates to let our creative juices flow.

The awesome thing about Steph number fifty-two is that she organizes a creative club that meets once a month to make a craft or learn a new skill. She invited me to join. Right up my alley.

Enter Cake Decorating.

Way back in September, a friend of hers taught us how to decorate a cake using fondant made of marshmallows and powdered sugar. Usually fondant tastes terrible, but this stuff wasn't bad!

The two birthday girls of the month got to blow out the candles.

But even after watching the process, occasionally kneading the fondant, and studying the instructions, I still wasn't super confident that I could tackle a cake on my own. So, Steph graciously let me offer to help in the process of making her girls' cakes for their first birthday a few weeks ago. It was so helpful and fun to talk it through with someone before attempting my own creation.

We felt so privileged to spend part of the girls' first birthday with them.

Blake was brimming with excitement over the birthday card he colored for them.

Steph made Jenna and Lucy big cupcakes (or mini-cakes) so that they would each have their own cake to dig into. We put tissue paper under the "present bows" to help them form better.

She was sweet enough to come over and help me make Blake's cake as well. We were much faster this time at rolling it all out and decorating, and Steph even mixed basic food coloring colors together to come up with the perfect aqua and orange (that art degree came in handy).

The final result for Blake's balloon party:

Pokes and Shiners

Speaking of worries, Nash's heart issues were brought back to the surface after a few months of rest. We spent a downright awful day at the hospital for him to have another sedated echo. They had a really hard time getting an IV started in him, and after four painful pokes and many scrutinizing search attempts, they called in the "expert" IV team. 

We waited close to an hour for the expert, and in the meantime Nash cried himself to sleep out of shear exhaustion. They wrapped heating packs around his ankles in hopes of finding a place to start an IV. But alas, the expert didn't have much luck starting an IV either because Nash was so dehydrated. What do they expect though when he isn't allowed to eat anything for six hours prior to the sedation? Of course he was dehydrated!

So he was starving and exhausted when they woke him up to put an IV in the only accessible vein they could find...in his HEAD! Poor guy. He went through some serious trauma until he was finally knocked out in sedation.

Oh, and did I mention that I had a terrible case of the stomach flu that progressively got worse throughout the day? My dad was a saint to come with me to the hospital for hours and hours because there is no way I could have done it alone. Every time I stood up to sway Nash and calm him down I thought I was going to lose it. My dad got him right to sleep and stepped in to help at every possible opportunity.

In the end, after the whole ordeal, the echo seemed pretty pointless to me. They found the same PDA that Nash had four months ago, and he still has to have surgery to close it up.

Only a new worry was brought to the surface as well. Because of an increased blood flow to his left ventricle, our cardiologist is worried that there could be some bone marrow in his aorta. If that is the case, Nash will have to have an incision in his chest to remove the marrow. That is a much more complicated surgery than having the catheter in his leg to repair the PDA. But there is no way to find out if there is marrow until he is already sedated in the Cath Lab for the proposed surgery. So we are really hoping and praying that his aorta is clear and he doesn't have to go through a more complicated surgery.

Having that IV in his head isn't something I really wanted to capture and remember, but my mom snapped a picture of Nash in his healing bandage after I immediately passed out upon arriving home.

And what would a trip to the hospital be if Blake didn't impose some sort of injury on himself around the same time as well? These things always seem to come in twos for us. (Remember his staples after Nash's first surgery?) 

This time, Blake fell off the rocking chair and hit the wood corner, creating a nice gouge and shiner by his eye. Thankfully he didn't need stitches, but he'll probably have a nice little scar to show for it. 

It's a good thing he likes band-aids.

Ten Months and Standing

I love this little guy.

But man oh man, he makes me worry.

You see, I am a worrier.

Worry is a "quality" that comes to me quite naturally.

I thought I had a good chunk of the parenting tricks down pat since we are now experiencing all of the stages a second time around. But Nash comes with his own set of unique worries.

If it's not his lack of weight gain then it's his heart issues. And if talk of his heart surgery is on hold then I worry about his development. And lately those worries have included a fear that he won't learn to crawl.

Don't get me wrong, Nash gets where he wants to go. He is a very fast inch-wormer. He can pull himself across the floor like a soldier slugging through the mud. But he has shown no interest in getting up on all fours. And I can't use the same tricks I used to get Blake to crawl in the grass since we have two feet of snow on the ground.

So when Nash recently pulled himself up to standing, I was terrified that it might be an indicator of skipping past that important crawling stage and moving on to walking.

I am in no rush for most of the developmental milestones. I figure the longer we can put off teething, baby food, walking, transitioning out of a crib, etc., the better. It'll all come in time when he is ready. But skipping over the crawling milestone altogether scares me.

Experts and occupational therapists say that crawling (on hands and knees) is a critical developmental milestone. I know a few people who skipped crawling as babies who had to go through crawling therapy as adults. They had to retrain their "crawling" muscles in physical therapy to form better connections between the right and left hemispheres of their brains.

Babies who skip past crawling and go straight to walking are supposedly not as strong and they have a harder time as older children with simple physical tasks. Bypassing this milestone can also affect a whole slew of things down the road including coordination issues, handwriting difficulties, risk of dyslexia, and increased fatigue. 

So, yes, I'm left with worry. Worry over issues small and large, things that if given time will probably work themselves out as most things do.

And you know what?

Nash is a miracle. Sure, he has his health and developmental issues. But despite the discomforts he has had to go through in his short life so far, he is oh so happy. Every time his eyes sparkle at us, I know that he is pleased as punch to be in our family. And we feel likewise. Sometimes it helps ease the worries when we know that we are working with a little miracle. We sure love his sweetness.