Central Park

I have so much more to share from our time in New York so far, but we had such a delightful day in Central Park today that I thought I would separate at least that part of the trip. It was so nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of the big city and relax. Central Park is just SO huge that we didn't even feel like we were in Manhattan anymore.

Sweet little Nash fell asleep on a blanket in the park while we read books and talked. Although we miss Blake and I think about how much he would love the city every time I pass an inner city playground, train station, toy store, or children's museum, we wouldn't have been able to lounge in the park all afternoon with a two year old running around. We've definitely taken advantage of the ease of only having one child. To end our day at Central Park, we strolled around the lake and viewed the famous boathouse. It was the perfect way to end our holiday weekend before Troy goes back to working insane hours during the rest of our stay.

Joining My Man on Wall Street

Troy is in New York again for 5 weeks this time. It's quarterly roll time at Goldman. We're breaking up the long time apart by joining him for a week.

Meet my traveling companion:

I have to admit that I'm pretty excited to spend some quality one-on-one time with my little one. Not that I don't adore Blake, but when Troy's mom graciously offered to watch Blake so that we could go visit Troy, I took her up on her offer right away. Flying with two children under two and carting them all around the Big Apple by myself with no cribs or toys didn't really seem feasible. I think it will be pretty easy to have Nash as a traveling buddy though. He is at the perfect age to travel and still be able to nap in his stroller while we explore. I haven't been to New York since High School and that was on a choir trip that was all planned out, so I'm very excited for the big city! I'd love suggestions on the things we must see, do, and eat. NYC here we come!

Being There

I love Iris Krasnow's quote: "Being There [is] an emotional and spiritual shift, of succumbing to Being Where You Are When You Are, and Being There as much as possible. Its about crouching on the floor and getting delirious over the praying mantis your son just caught instead of perusing a fax or filling the dishwasher while he is yelling for your attention and you distractedly say over your shoulder: 'Oh, honey, isn’t that a pretty bug.' It’s about being attuned enough to notice when your kid’s eyes shine so you can make your eyes shine back.”

I want my boys to see my eyes shine when I play with them. I want to enjoy their play as much as they do. I want to "crouch down on the floor and get delirious" over the simple things that delight them. I want to be theirs while I can.

I'm working on making my eyes shine back and slowing down instead of stressing out about the myriad of "to dos" stretching out endlessly before me. You see, I like to get things done. I bulldoze my way through projects and feel that I can't function 'til every piece of clutter is properly put in its place.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just bulldozed through, which I've been guilty of lately. I've got to slow down enough to give that to myself and to my family.

We took a walk around Temple Square today, which we hardly ever do even though we live so close. I love how these pictures capture just how much I love our boys, and how much they trust me and want to be close to me. I know that no matter how much I want time to slow down and my boys to stop growing so fast, this time with young children will still slip away. But the joy that I feel while I'm in the moment with my children will not fade with the years like the pictures and memories; it will become a part of me. It will become a part of them.

Balding

We're experiencing hair loss at our house. For me, there is a vicious cycle of losing hair and then awkwardly growing it back during pregnancy, postpartum, and eventually weaning. Each event seems to trigger the loss of my hair. I heard that if you continue taking your prenatal vitamins after you deliver your baby, it keeps all of your locks in tact! So, I have religiously continued my morning regimen of taking those huge horse pills, but alas, I am beginning to pull out of long strands of hair by the clump. I wake up every morning to find enough hair on my pillow case for a small doll's head. I longingly watch my locks being swept away or washed down the drain.

It's actually not this phase that I mind as much. Sure, it's annoying to constantly vacuum, sweep, and pull strands of hair off every possible surface, but when it gets really out of control is in the regrowth phase. I am dreading the day when my hair line will once again become overgrown with small short hairs that are completely untamable. And then the vicious cycle will begin again once I wean and we start this whole miracle of life stuff again.

At least I have a buddy to experience the loss with this time around. Nash has seemed to fall in the trap of hair loss as well. When he was born, everyone commented on how much dark hair he had, especially for being three weeks early! Well, here is a look at then and now.

At least we're in this together.

Smother Brother

I just had to share this one because:

A. Blake smothers his brother like this on a continual basis and I don't want him to forget his love for Nash when there begins to be sibling rivalry.

B. I think it is really funny that because the baby is touching his arm, Blake thinks he is "sharing" it.

The Creativity Itch

If I go a long period of time without producing something creative I start to feel a little out of balance. Preparing meals certainly does not fall within my creativity category. My time has been spent elsewhere in the last month or so, and man I sure got the itch this week to create something! I got the idea for this spring wreath here, only guess what I used instead of acorns? Lima beans, spray painted of course.

A classy spring touch to our front door amounted to a feeling of creative accomplishment and a simple way to say welcome home.

Motherhood

I have been reflecting on motherhood lately and not just because it is Mother's Day but because motherhood is the most integral part of my current phase of life. I feel so blessed to have beautiful children entrusted in my care. I sometimes lose sleep over Motherhood and feel like I'm not doing enough. I often get caught up in my own agendas and checklists and then later realize that the time I could have spent lending a listening ear or enjoying small moments with my children has passed. Some days I know I fall short as a Mother, but my boys continue to show me unending forgiveness and love.

From time to time I ponder the sacrifices I make by choosing to be a Mother. Most 25-year-olds are pursuing their careers, obtaining graduate degrees, going to the gym and the mall in their spare time, and jumping in the car to go wherever they want to without having to juggle diaper bags, snacks, carseats, and strollers. They don't have a time limit before the next scheduled nap time.

I sacrifice date nights and running errands all day so my children can have consistency in their bedtimes. I sacrifice work-out classes so that we can have a meals together as a family. I sacrifice sleep so I can stay up and snuggle my baby. I sacrifice having a career and using my degree so I can be the one who feeds my children every meal, kisses every owie, reads every book, and teaches every lesson. I sacrifice my body and wellness so I can carry my babies for nine months and experience perpetual misery. I sacrifice the latest trends in clothes, hair, and make-up because the clothes will get spit-up on and a long morning routine will take time away from my children. I sacrifice vacations and traveling with my husband on business trips because I know that my children will be happier in the comfort of their own home. I sacrifice "me" time every day so I can keep our house clean and organized.

I understand that my role as a Mother means a lot of selfless acts and I know that every Mother is making the same sacrifices that I am. Most of the time though, the things I give up do not feel like sacrifices. I absolutely adore our children and genuinely want to give up whatever is necessary to be able to serve them. I have been given a very important job to do. That is the job of a Mother. I want to give up my weekends, sleep, and personal time because I am the one who...

...will tell you that you are a Child of God.

...will urge you to play, discover, and create.

...will comfort you when you are out of sorts.

...will teach you to pray, love, and serve.

I couldn't ask for anything greater than the gift of motherhood.

May Flowers

The month of May for me means planting flowers and creating graduation slideshows. I have spent every spare minute the last couple of weeks working on DVD slideshow presentations that I create yearly for the school that I used to teach at. The slideshows are shown at graduation and contain pictures of every student throughout the school year. I enjoy working on them and being connected in a way to my teaching days, but after finishing the 15th slideshow yesterday, I was happy to turn my work efforts into caring for our yard instead of staring at a computer screen. It felt good to pull all of those overgrown weeds and plant some flowers around our tulips.

Speaking of yard work, my husband is sneaky sneaky in his efforts to do as little yard work as possible. He absolutely detests manual labor, so when we attended our church youths' auction fundraiser last weekend, he outbid everyone for any services involving mowing and snow shoveling. To my surprise, after an impeccable mowing service was rendered to us today by a teenage boy, Troy hired him to mow our lawn for the rest of the summer! I was a little peeved at first since I don't think that we need mowing services when we are in our mid-twenties. However, I think that $15 a week is probably the best money we will ever spend on improving our marriage. Our Saturdays will no longer consist of me plotting the best way to motivate Troy to mow the lawn. He will no longer be nagged and nagged and nagged when it gets to be three weeks since the previous mowing. Troy and I don't disagree about much, but my blood boils just thinking about the tension involved in the past when discussing the chore of lawn mowing. Our summer will be much happier now that I can always look out the window and see clean lines on our grass. Procrastination, guilt, and nagging will be eliminated from our conversations. I sit here taking in the sweet scent of our blooming lilac tree through the window and I feel lighter already.

Three Months and Stretching

Nash is three months old already!

 

My FAVORITE thing ever is when I pull Nash out of his carseat or from his crib and he arches his back into a full body stretch. His little body just becomes so heavy as his fists and face clench for the freedom to stretch out. I didn't quite capture the full arching motion that he performs, but this is close to the idea. Did I mention how much I LOVE it when he does his cute full body stretch?